Hi all. I would love to say that the reason I haven't posted is because I have been busy with happy things, but that is not the case.

I had to go to the emergency room a couple of weeks ago because my parents found me passed out. Why was I passed out, well I am ashamed to say that I was on drugs. Technically, I was fine and even had I not went, I would have been fine, but they didn't know. I don't blame them, they were just doing what parents do. But I have been coming to terms with my addiction and the demons behind it that made me turn to drugs in the first place. I have always been clinically depressed but I don't take meds for it because I have no insurance or job to pay for it.

I am very proud to say that I haven't touched anything since, nor had any inclination to do so. But it is sad to see the way my parents are always looking at me, as if to make sure that I am not relapsing. I am not going to, but I am sure that all people with addiction problems say that.

The real kicker is that my mother suffers from the same thing. She is an alcoholic, and I had hoped that this would wake her up and make her see it, but she still refuses to admit that she has a problem.

The only thing that has given me hope and makes me go on is my son and Charlie. I love them both so much that I cannot stand to hurt them.

I know that I will be alright. I have the ones that I love and God. With them, I can't go wrong, right?